Friday, May 20, 2005

Contemplating, ruminating, praying

For the last few months, I've been ruminating about changing careers. At my age, quite a lot of well-meaning friends give me all sorts of friendly advice about the hard times, about gritting my teeth and just toughing it out. I must admit the thought of actually pushing through with my dreams, going out on my own, freelancing, and pursuing plans to work by myself is giving me some scary moments. I'm not at all rich. I wasn't born with any kind of metal spoon much less a silver one. I can't rely on anybody but the good Lord and myself. If iI don't work, I will definitely go hungry. There are times when I was sick and really feeling low but I just have to be extra tough and tough it out because nobody would feed or take care of me.

I find myself at the crossroads again. Is it too late to start anew? Do I just let go of my plans and dreams and just tough it out even though I'm not happy about my work anymore? strange observation this is: when you're younger, you have all the time in the world to play and explore even though you don't have much money. then you grow up, get a job that pays rather well but it takes away your time and freedom. While I don't have a surfeit of money, I learned that it's true, money can't buy you happiness.  In the past years, I have learned to yearn for things that don't require spending money for. All in all, something to contemplate and pray over.


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