When Your Body Is Telling You To Take Time Off To Find Healing Even As You Struggle To Find Work

I was supposed to immediately find my next employment as soon as it was announced that almost all of the staff in my former company would be made redundant.  There's some sort of separation payment to tide us over but the prospect of looking for another employer can sometimes be daunting. One has to browse through so many listings of companies that may fit one's skill set.  Then, granted the opportunity to move to the next level, go through testing(s), interviews, and more testings and interviews at times.  To be taken from a sort of comfort zone at a job I am doing rather well and quickly so to unknown territory is deflating to say the least. Another round of proving oneself. But soldier on we must.

But at times, the body tells us to slow down. After a week in the mountains plus a week tending to my rescue cat, Alvin, I was set to look for another job. But somatically, my body had other ideas.  In quick succession, I got sick and sicker and sicker over the span of nearly three months.  It was serious to the point when I thought I may not live through the bouts with health issues - long COVID, serious side effects from a flu drug, then withdrawal symptoms from long-time pain reliever.  Is it my body's way of trying to tell me to slow down and recover not just from physical infection but also emotional and spiritual scarring?

Adopting Alvin, Being Made Redundant, Getting Long COVID & Trying To Find My Way Again

I know it's been like three months since I last wrote something in this sacred space.  A lot of things have happened.  Mysterious, crazy, mystical things. They say feeding, caring, and loving strays bestow good luck on the carer.  Hmmm, I think I have to collect my long overdue rewards then.  Like after rescuing and having Alvin treated for parvo and coronavirus (spending a month's worth of my pay), I, along with my team over at work got redundant.  I also lost some of my beloved fosters, including Buddy the dog whom I was caring for for the last two and a half years (this really broke my heart). Then, I had one health episode after another (long COVID, medicine side effects, withdrawal symptoms from a drug).  As I'm writing this, I am actually wondering why I'm still around.  

Just two short weeks ago, I was battling the wearying, life-draining effects of what I suspect to be long COVID - too weak to do anything much apart from sitting or lying down, so much muscle aches and pains all over, a deep metallic taste that will not allow me to eat solids for 2-3 weeks, hot flashes, difficulty breathing, difficulty sleeping, diarrhea, chills, fever like a virtual smorgasboard of symptoms you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.  I think I lost 15-20 pounds in just a week. Earlier, Bioflu had the weirdest side effects on me (losing spatial sense and my balance to name just two).